Wednesday, March 11, 2009

2009 Racing Season Preview: 9 Days Till Racing Season Starts/9 Days Till Those Damn Germans Win The Sebring 12 Hour In A Brand New Car Again, Again

Off Season Le Mans type News:

Racing season is 9 days away, at the time of this writing, and I'll actually be able to watch the season opener on TV for the first time in 4 years! Tests are taking place, the media is gearing up, and the season is starting to generate news. I'd like to take a little time out of the day to talk about some things that piss me off, make me happy, and excite me about the future. Let's start at the top, with my favorite races and cars: (Oh, Uh, I guess this is NSFW, I get pretty fired up about racing and stuff)

Le Mans Prototype/GT Racing


Audi: I'm sure you've heard by now, but Audi has a new car, the R15. They are calling it the "First Second Generation LMP Diesel Car." What the fuck assholes? You think we're so dumb that we don't realize this? Jeez, we're not Nascar fans. (It's okay Morgfan, we all have embarrassing tastes. RIP Dale) So anyways, it's a new bloody Audi and all. I'm hoping for a breakdown. To tell the truth I'm hoping for a couple of breakdowns here. Remember that break in 2007, oh God that was great, when the wheel didn't make Indianapolis with the car? HAHAHA. I mean, I'm really glad the driver was safe, no bad blood there, but it was healing to see the Audi do something like that. Here's some pictures of the sure-to-be-winning-soon R15. Looks like an Audi but that front is kinda sexy. I hope the above image is prophetic and we see them pushing this car a lot this year.

Okay, now that we got ze Germans out of the way, let's get on to the exciting stuff!

Last year Aston Martin rocked it with Charouz Racing, and said they were going to be running a team this year. Well they are, and this brings the best news of the season: Aston Martin is running a new, gorgeous, closed-top Lola in Gulf Livery. I just came. Oops, I just came again.


FUCK YES PICTURES. Anyways, clean off the keyboard and let's move on.


I want BMW back in ALMS. That would be on my wish list. And the new B6 is pretty sexy. I want that car in ALMS. Is that too much to ask? Damn Germans. Too bad it's a GT3. Here's a link.

LE MANS:

At Le Mans this year we got 21 fucking LMP1 cars, 38%! This includes 5 Audis (3 R15s and 2 R10s), 4 908s (Pescarolo got ahold of one!), and 4 Lola Aston Martins (three like the one above). This means that 23.6% of the cars entered in the entire race have a DAMN good shot at the overall win. This could be exciting, but as a fan, who do I root for? If I'm out there rooting for Peaugeot, which one do I root for? Need to see who is driving what this year to start my picks. There is only one reserve car for LMP1.


LMP2 is decimated. After only 2 cars finished last year, apparently the ACO decided to invite less LMP2 cars: only 12, to be exact, 22% (Might as well continue giving these percentages now that I've begun). This is bullshit. If you want to ensure more competition in LMP2, you have to have more cars on track, it's simple. But hey, I don't know why the ACO is doing this, so fuck 'em, I'll still be hyping their product until the day I die. Anyways, what's exciting here? RS Spyders of course! Trip Spyders actually. And to them I say: "Welcome to Le Mans future overlords." Damn Germans. Well, actually only one of the Spyder teams is German. Between these three cars I'm rooting for the Japanese. Oak Racing got ahold of Pescarolo's LMP2s from last year, should be fun to see them rock those sweet bodies. Bruichladdich is back (Wow, this is the first time I have spelled their name right on the first try, ever) and rocking the beautiful Radical again. I hope they can keep that up, they don't seem to be winning much but that body is way too sexy to not be raced. There are three reserve LMP2 cars, and unfortunately, one is Barazi Epsilon (Above Picture). I hope those guys are on the grid in June. They have a lot of passion and I hope they do well in their series this year - plus, ZYTEK!!!


If LMP2 is decimated, GT1 shouldn't even bother to show up. We got the two Vettes, assuming Chevrolet doesn't fold before then. Luc Alphand is running two more Vettes. The Japanese are bringing a Lambo, as usual, best of luck to them! The Russians are bringing a Lambo too. There's two non-factory Aston Martin DBR9s. And that is it. So you got a three car race. BORING. Well, there is that lone GT1 car on reserve. It's a Saleen by Larbre (Above). A Great French racing team and my favorite GT1 car. I want this shit on the track. Are you reading this ACO? GIVE ME SALEEN!!! I'LL EVEN LET THE FRENCH DRIVE IT! PLEASE!!! Are they afraid of Saleen being too slow? Or afraid of it being too sexy?

GT2 is, well, this year there are 14 of them. 25% of the cars on track. For such an exciting class, I'm glad they get a lot of cars, but it seems like less than usual. (I wonder if they invited less GT2 cars because there are so many damn LMP1 cars on track - less slow traffic for the big boys?) So let's start by talking about Ferrari: there are 9 of them. 64% of the GT2 class is fucking Ferrari. So the funny story I heard, and haven't been able to confirm yet, is that they made the F430, then the race version, then the street special edition based on the race version, and are now making a race version based on that street special edition based on the race version of the original car. (So that story was really just to distract myself from the depressing fact that there are 9 fucking Ferraris on the course. If I was betting I would bet on the GT2 Manufacturer title and put a few million on Ferrari. Then root for somebody else and pick up the check a month later.) There are three Porsches - one of them is the always brilliant and exciting Flying Lizard Motorsports. Let's go FLM! But I'm gonna be rooting for the other two cars. One of the last two is, of course, the Spyker. FUCK YES. This 2006 video from them is still awesome. And the last car is, well, it's kind of enigmatic right now. It's labeled as an "Aston Martin V8," but what it actually is I haven't heard yet. I'll root for the mysterious guys! (Hey, at least they ain't on the reserve list!) Honestly the reserve list for GT2 is a bit confusing: There's a Porsche from China, the only little Chinese flag on the list and they're on the reserve, thanks ACO; there are two other Porsches and the other Spyker; but the weirdest thing, ACO intentions aside, is the other Ferrari on the list. So based on the invited list, I figured if you drove a Ferrari you were in, but this team apparently couldn't get a break. Maybe it's because they confuse me: they are listed as "Team Seattle Advanced Engineering," from Italy. Hrmm.

Overview

As a fan this is just frustrating, seeing them talking about diversity, then putting five Audi LMP1s on track, four Peugeot 908s, and keeping the Saleen off the track. But hey, I don't know why they're doing this, so fuck 'em, I'll still be hyping their product until the day I die, right? Whatever, the battle at the front is going to be EPIC. I wish all the drivers and teams good luck and safety at the most metal of 24 hours.

Here's the full invite .pdf list.

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Alternate titles for this post:
Foul-Mouthed Racing Preview
Are the ACO afraid of Saleen being too slow? Or afraid of it being too sexy? Raise thy eyebrow! Ask the IMPORTANT questions!
Le Mans 2009 will see me rooting for the fucking reserve list.
I'll Even Let A Frenchman Drive!!!

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