Friday, September 11, 2009

My History Of Mercedes

1. Mercedes made the first gasoline powered MOTORWAGEN in January 1886. Leading, of course, to the end of the world as we knew it.

2. Mercedes establishes itself as a racing brand and the legend of the Silver Arrows is born. Unfortunately, the innovation and beauty stays on the track.

3. After returning to Sportscar racing in 1952, the American importer of Mercedes said, "Hey, that sexy track car would sell well in America:"

And it does! In 1954, after a long string of uninspiring street cars, Mercedes created the 300SL "Gullwing". It remains one of the prettiest cars of all time. But not only that, it was the first fuel injected car on the road. It completely revolutionized Mercedes from maker of boring cars like the W120 to real cars like the 300SL (W198) and the 190SL (R121).

4. And then Mercedes makes a bunch of crappy cars again, for years. Blah blah blah, boring boring boring.

5. Until 1990, when Mercedes went absolutely insane and strapped a bunch of awesome parts to their vanilla 190 series:

and created the 190e Evolution II, one of the most utterly absurd cars of all time. I love it for its performance, quirkiness, hideousness, and absurdity.

6. Then they made shit again, to the tune of even making me not like McLaren (Which is one of the best car people groups in the world). However, they did perform some interesting aerial acrobatics at the track. Twice, actually.

7. Until now. Hear me out, but after 19 years of utter drivel, Mercedes has returned with this:

The Mercedes-Benz SLS is the car I have been waiting for from that original gas-car company. This is that rare mix between the utter absurdity of the 190e Evo II and the beauty and sheer inspired-ness of the 300SL. Has it got gull-wing doors? Yes, and they are as hideous as ever. Does the front symbol look like overstated plastic crap? Yes, but I'm sure that would come off. Is the car perhaps the coolest thing shown this year? Perhaps... perhaps.

It is, simply put, everything I want from a company like Mercedes who was, at one time, crazy enough to try a gasoline autowagen. This is craziness, not vanilla like the SL series, or a phallus like the SLR, this is truly and utterly mad. This is putting fuel injection in a car. This is painting your cars silver to blind opponents on a racetrack. This is absolutely insane, and I love it.

More pictures here.

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